Recovery from bulimia is not a straightforward path, and it’s something I’m still working through every day.
There are days when the idea of getting better feels within reach, and others when it seems impossibly far away. Early in my journey, when I was placed on the NHS waiting list for therapy, I was given a copy of Getting Better Bite by Bite.
Since then, this book has become a touchstone for me - something I turn back to whenever I need to refocus and remind myself why recovery matters. Here, I’d like to share some of the insights that have helped me from the book, and how I continue to rely on its guidance, even in moments when recovery feels like a distant goal.
Realising Bulimia Is a Condition, Not Who I Am
One of the first things that struck me about Getting Better Bite by Bite was how it framed bulimia as a condition - not a character flaw or something to be ashamed of. “Bulimia isn’t who you are - it’s a condition you’re experiencing.”
For so long, I had internalised my struggles as failures, and my self-esteem had all but crumbled under the weight of it. Seeing bulimia described this way started to shift my thinking, even if just a little.
When I feel like I’m slipping or when shame tries to creep back in, I remember this: my eating disorder is not my identity. It’s something I can learn to manage and treat, even if I’m not there yet. This perspective keeps me coming back to the idea of recovery, even when it’s hard to believe in it.
Practising Self-Compassion, Even When It Feels Impossible
I’ll be honest - self-compassion isn’t something that comes easily to me. In fact, it’s often one of the biggest challenges.
The authors of Getting Better Bite by Bite write, “Recovery requires self-compassion, even if it doesn’t come naturally,” and this is a line I have to remind myself of constantly. My default is to be self-critical, to feel guilty for not doing enough or slipping up. But the book has helped me see that recovery isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress, however slow.
There are days when self-compassion feels out of reach, but I’ve learned that even small moments of kindness towards myself - like acknowledging that I’m trying - can help. This reminder doesn’t make every day easier, but it keeps me grounded and helps me return to recovery, even when it feels difficult to stay consistent.
Letting Go of “Food Rules”
One of the biggest shifts for me was realising how many “food rules” I had built up over time. Getting Better Bite by Bite talks about these rules as “traps,” and I saw how true that was in my own life. I’d created so many rigid ideas about what I could or couldn’t eat, all of which ended up reinforcing the cycle of bingeing and guilt.
The book offers exercises to help challenge these beliefs, and though I’m still working on letting go of all these rules, just recognising them was a huge step. Sometimes, when I’m tempted to fall back into old patterns, I look back at these exercises. They help me see that I don’t need to control every bite of food I eat. It’s still a journey, but I’m learning, bit by bit, that it’s okay to eat freely without punishing myself.
Building New Ways to Cope
The authors of Getting Better Bite by Bite write, “Bulimia is often a way of coping with emotions we find difficult to face,” and that felt like they’d seen straight into my life.
I’d always thought of my eating disorder as something physical, but the book showed me that it was often emotional too - a response to stress, sadness, or even loneliness.
This idea has become an anchor point for me. Whenever I notice those urges creeping up, I try to pause and ask myself what I’m really feeling. Sometimes it’s frustration, other times it’s anxiety or exhaustion. Though I’m still learning how to deal with those emotions in healthier ways, this reminder helps me understand my patterns and lets me feel like I have options beyond food.
Taking It “Bite by Bite”
The title Getting Better Bite by Bite has taken on a powerful meaning for me. It’s a reminder that recovery doesn’t need to be rushed or perfect. The book’s approach is about breaking recovery down into small, manageable steps rather than trying to fix everything at once. One line I come back to often is, “Recovery doesn’t require perfection; it only requires persistence.”
There are weeks when it feels like I haven’t made any progress at all, when setbacks make me doubt if I’ll ever feel free. But then I remember this line and the “bite by bite” approach, and it helps me put one foot in front of the other. Recovery is slow and unpredictable, but these small steps feel more doable, even on the hard days.
Using Practical Tools for Progress
The book offers a toolkit of exercises, from daily reflections to goal-setting worksheets, and these have become a sort of lifeline. On days when I feel lost or discouraged, I go back to these tools. They help me remember why I want to recover and remind me of the progress I’ve made, even if it’s hard to see in the moment.
Completing these exercises doesn’t mean I have everything figured out, but it gives me a sense of control and progress, even when recovery feels messy. It’s a tangible reminder that I’m doing the work, even if I’m still far from where I want to be.
A Resource I Keep Returning To
Getting Better Bite by Bite isn’t a one-time read for me; it’s a book I keep coming back to, especially when recovery feels like it’s slipping through my fingers. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone in this journey, that I have tools to lean on, and that even the smallest steps count.
Recovery is still a work in progress for me, and some days are tougher than others. But having this book as a steady guide keeps me grounded and gives me hope, even on the hardest days.
If you’re just starting your journey or if you’re looking for something to help you find your footing, I can’t recommend this book enough. It doesn’t promise a quick fix, but it’s a reminder that change is possible - one bite at a time.
Where to Get a Copy
Full transparency, I was gifted this book for free by a doctor from the NHS when I was on the NHS waiting list, so it could be worth enquiring with your GP, but it is also available for purchase. Here is the link to purchase the book on Amazon, it's my affiliate link, but feel free to give it a search for yourself and purchase separately from this link: "Getting Better: Bite By Bite, Second Edition by Ulrike Schmidt, Janet Treasure and June Alexander".
For now, help is available: BEAT: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
Helplines are open Monday - Friday, 3pm - 8pm:
England: 0808 801 0677 Scotland: 0808 801 0432 Wales: 0808 801 0433 Northern Ireland: 0808 801 0434
*I’m not affiliated with the charity BEAT, but I’m sharing their details as they’re a highly reputable eating disorder charity in the UK offering invaluable support.
Speak soon,
Bethan :)
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